The Bridge Between Two Souls

You are somewhere else and I am thinking about you

matt-is-just-around-the-corner:

You are somewhere else and I am thinking about you ( A four-way collaboration )

Somewhere, somehow, your soul calls to me like it always does and maybe, always will. In all our memories and in all my thoughts, there you are, there you’ll always be. Just a daydream away. So very close, but a dream still. There was a time though, when reality was kind and fate was on our side. Your voice was my lullaby in the night, your laughter woke me from my slumber and off I went into the world, running on our hopes and your promises. It was easy to find happiness then. I found it in your hair, as it turned gold in the sunlight, as I counted the stars in your eyes. I found it in every moment I was with you. It was simple and effortless, because you were my happiness. 

Oh, but where are you now?

I pick up the phone and dial your number for the hundredth time in three days. Still no answer. I am tempted to swing by your home but I must stop myself. If you wanted to see me, you would. After all, it was your decision to cut me off from your life. You made it look so easy too. Was it really easy? I couldn’t imagine tearing myself away from you. From all the memories we’ve built and all the emotions we’ve invested. Can’t imagine how excruciating it would be. I never did understand how one lets go of someone they once swore they’d go to hell and back for. I guess it only means one thing. I guess I no longer mean anything to you. Here I am, sitting and singing and wailing about the blue moon or the emptiness of night and maybe I sing about the what-ifs or think about the never-weres and maybe I remember the sound of your laughter echoing off the walls in our tiny room. I miss that, just you and me andlaughter to keep us warm at night, back when the stars gleamed in love and the clouds never trespassed on our evening walks.Maybe you still think about me. 

What if you still think about me?

It doesn’t matter, not really. Here I am, thinking what if, and it doesn’t matter because you are somewhere else, somewhere else with your voice and the furrowing of your eyebrows and the gnashing of your teeth. Somewhere else so I can’t think about you and maybe I’ll forget you. But that would be the worst thing, to forget about the sun in noon sky, or your laughter in the flowers at the park where we used to walk by the ducks, young and clumsy and in love. Maybe I will no longer think about you, think in clichés, think in absolutes and extremes and what-ifs and never-weres and maybe I will never think about anyone else again.

What if I never thought about anyone else, and what if this really was the last time? 

Will I then simply think of nothing at all or then be left in a vegetative state, dreaming of something I couldn’t remember? 

It is a mystery; somehow, someway, you have managed to imprint your name on my heart— a tattoo inked with your blood, I should know this well because yours has a richer tone of red and when mixed with mine, it’s velvet; raw velvet.Now I am left with a constant reminder of your absence…Every single time I inhale air, I feel the scars of your name push up to my ribs, a blunt pain trying it’s best to pierce my chest—-my means of living is now compromised; breathing is supposed to be easy, why has it become the most difficult thing to do?

I then resort back to thinking in absolutes and extremes and what-ifs and never-weres and maybe I will never think about anyone else again.

What if I never had met you, then that would mean this pain I feel will never exist? I would like so much to believe that however, growing up made me realize the juxtaposition of our souls. If I hadn’t met you then, I would meet you in another time and age—- and this imminent pain is inevitable, a splinter left in the corners of time and space just wanting to be removed once and for all. 

But, if I had choice, would I have stopped myself from meeting you? Despite knowing that we were not meant to be? If I was given the power, would I avoid all the magic and pain you brought into my life?

No.I’d live it all out again.Because for all its worth, I had loved you with all that I was. I gave you my heart, and you clutched it so tightly, I thought you wouldn’t let go but yet, you did. I realized then that the hold you have on me crushed me. Bruised me. You had taken everything I could possibly give… then you left. But what hurts me the most is the fact that even after every lie, every ignored call, and every false promise, I still sing for you! Your name is still in every breath I force, in every prayer I whisper!

I’d live it all out again because for all its worth, I still love you.

Now I bask in the sunlight of noon and still laugh at the flowers at the park, to walk by the ducks, mature, smart and heartbroken: 

until destiny teaches me again to be young, clumsy and in love.

And if that time comes, I wonder if it would still be you. I wonder if destiny will bring us back together and give our never-weres a chance to turn into forevers. I wonder if your laughter will sound sweeter in more colorful flowers and if the ducks will have died and be born again. I wonder if our new shot at destiny will feel like we were born again. I wonder if destiny decides to give us away to different people instead. I wonder if it will be sweeter and better with them or if this is the best we’ll ever be. I wonder if they will scar me like you did or maybe even deeper. So many wonders in the world, it’s funny how I’m fixated on this one. It’s funny how we are all consumed by our own whims and follies. It’s funny how we live and die without knowing the answers to our wonders. Which then makes me wonder…what is the point to all of them?  As I wait for a dawn to end the night you induced within me, I’ll distract myself with the thought that perhaps, while I am somewhere else, you are thinking of me.

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A collaboration between me,my sister and our cousins. 
originally from this piece, now with additions. :)

• Normal fonts were written by 160milesperhour (cousin)
• Italicized fonts  were written by matt-is-just-around-the-corner (me)
• Bold fonts were written by her-philosophy (cousin)
• Fonts with bold at the beginning and at the end of the paragraph were written by thebridgebetweenus (my sister)

* This is just to emphasize the division of the parts.er go, do not mind them when it come to reading the piece itself.  It’s difficult to show the division of parts with 4 people apparently so bare with us. :)

Rarity by Matt S.

Dear, don’t look down on earth,
just see how much your worth
in all my days, I have never seen,
rarity, uniquely serene.

An oasis, at center of concrete forest,
my one and only place of rest;
a flower, blooming in stormy sands
so scarce, through the entire land.

More blinding than any star bright stones,
lucky is the one who can own;
harder than any diamond in the rough,
only a fool will say he’s had enough.

You’re that one in a million comet,
to look out for every single minute;
rarity in worth and virtue,
such unfathomable value.

You’re the lightning that strikes thrice,
you’re the reason for quitting vice,
you are God’s unique design;
a pocket full of loving sunshine.

The heavenly light for all the damned,
a savior for the sacrificial lamb;
dear,you’re worth so much more,
you, who I can’t ignore.

The needle I found in a haystack
there’s so little you lack;
the perfect sunrise and sunset,
you, who I can’t forget:

My very purpose of penning;
You, the perfect poem I dream of writing.